Press Fast Forward..

So I know it's been awhile, more then that really. I don't know if anyone is really even reading this anymore. But it's always nice to be able to write your thoughts or anything down really. I want to skip ahead of the whole how we got together and how we came to be story. I thought I would be able to sit back and write it down everyday but truth is, life gets in the way and spending time with my husband is more important then writing a blog. So I'll catch you up to speed later if you really want to know ;). Being married has definatly changed me in more ways then I can count. Alex makes me a better person then I ever thought I could be. It also makes me think more. I have more to be accountable for. I think twice before I shop. I'm also always looking at the future and not just in the moment anymore. Ever since this new year started I have said I am joing National Guard at the end of this year. Now don't get me wrong, I want to do it more then anything. But there are some doubts. What if I can't physically do it? What if I can't pass the test or fail at anything else? I hate to let people down and if I ever let Alex down I would be crushed. My new thing I am starting to think of is Nursing. It is kind of a shocker because I have been set on going through fire standards and becoming a fire fighting no matter what. It's not that easy to decide when you are being pulled in so many directions. Now the obvisous answer should be nursing. There are more jobs available and the pay is a lot more as well. But there is something that I just can't wrap my finger around that makes me feel like nursing just isn't enough. I'm afraid I would be too willing to go after being a doctor and that's something that scares me. More doubts float into my head. What if I can't do it? When it was just me, I guess it wasn't that big of a deal. But now that I am married there is so much more at sake. I don't want to waste time and fail at something. And that is probabley one of my biggest fears is failing.

We decided to wait to have kids. I believe one of our best decisions. Why rush? I watch soo many of my friends have kids and I think it's absolutely amazing, I really do. I envy them for being able to have a piece of them and their husband and they made a child together. I would do anything to have that. But just not yet. I can barely do a puppy and even though I joke with Alex and say a kid would be easier I know it wouldn't be. I want to be able to have a nice home and a stable job before I have kids. I can barely make a decision about my own future, I really doubt I could make decisions for someone elses. Once kids are in the picture it makes things so much harder. While yes it is worth every second of it in the end, I want to make sure I have had more then enough time with my husband. And do the things we have wanted to do before the kids. I know traveling to a different country is a little pricey but Alaska is something we both want to do. And I really want a house before anything. I want to know we have a stable living arrangements before anything. I don't want to move from house to house every year. I want to be able to put notches in my kids door post on their birthday and watch them grow. I believe in the end that is what everyone wants, whether they wait or not. But our choise is waiting so we can have our cake and eat it too.

New Life As An Army Wife

So I'm finally picking up where I last left off. Sorry if anyone has been patiently waiting, but with 40 hours of work and plenty of other things that have to be done with a husband and puppy. It's a bit hard to even check my facebook haha. Just a few days after we got married, Alex had to head back to good ol' Kansas while I stayed in Florida. We did not know how we would get my stuff to Kansas nor did we really know what to do in general about anything. I was currently in a lease and didn't know about using his orders to break the lease or anything of the sort. So once they said they wouldn't let me leave, I left anyways. We had made a plan I would stay in Florida for a little and make money to help come up to Kansas. Well being newlyweds and in love, all I cared about was getting to him. So one night he finally said sure just come now, you better believe I called work told them I was leaving earlier then expected and packed my car up as much as I could. The thing with being the youngest and the youngest girl to the matter is my momma did not want me to leave. If it was up to her I'd still be in Florida to this day. But she did not understand. I was willing to risk it all for the man I was in love with and still am very much so to this day. I showered and made sure i looked cute but also comfy for the 24-26 hour drive I had that was in front of me. I piled in my car with my two cats I had at the time and started on my way. I did drive by my moms to see if she was up, I was going to give her a key to my apartment but she was already sleeping for the night. It was about 1 am already. So I hit the road. Yes that means I did not say bye to anyone. No one knew I was driving to Kansas except for Alex. So many emotions ran through me and I have no idea still to this day how I made it only resting twice. I remember getting right before Georgia, stopping at a rest stop and passing out. That drive was something else. I could not see out the back of my window, two cats constantly meowing and my back starting to kill me. At one point I was on the phone with Alex and next thing I knew I was getting pulled over. First ticket ever trying to get to my new husband. To this day I have yet to pay that ticket due to the fact there was never an address on the ticket, but I do refuse to drive threw Illnois just in case. Fast forward to Kansas. When I left I didn't have much money, less then 200 dollars to my name. I just barely got to Kansas with it. After awhile of entering Kansas, there is a toll. I barely had the 2.25 I needed. I got through it and passed through the toll and excited the guy told me I had about 2 hours left. It was about midnight, all I could see were hills and cars that had stuff all over it( later I found out it was just dirt). I started to think OMG where am I?? It reminded me something straight out of horror movie. I don't know what I was thinking, but I was in a new state knew no one except Alex and that was it. Kind of nerve wrecking really. It was about 1:30 and I finally pulled into Fort Riley. I called him so excited, but I had no idea where to go. He said he would stay on the phone with me to tell me where to turn but the guy at the gate told me I had to get off. Before I continue, think about this. A 20 year old in Kansas with a car completely loaded and two cats. It was freezing, I forgot how cold it does get outside of Florida and I was in victoria secret sweatpants and a jacket. I also have no knowledge of anything military before Alex. I was approached by two military police and was told to exit my vehicle, I kinda freaked. I was trying to hold one of my cats while they searched my car, and tried to make sure my other cat didn't run off either. I had a buck knife in the car as my proctection and had no idea where it was since it fell between the seats somewhere. After a bit they let me get back in the car and finally head onto post. I was told to stay off my phone since it's a law no driving and talking on the phone without a handsfree device, so I called Alex and put him on speaker. He told me where to go and after awhile I finally made my way to his barracks. I can't remember if I ran to him or not. I remember being freezing cold and finally making my way to him. I was so happy being with him and couldn't believe how so much had changed in under two weeks of last seeing him and in just a few months of being with him. I was finally truely happy and with my new husband. We set off to his room and well what do you expect from newlyweds HA!

- I really do enjoy telling the story of how we became. It's almost like our own fairy tale story. A fairy tale story with no ending, because true happiness has no endings - only beginnings :)

Here We Gooo..

Before Alex, which you should know is my husband ;), I was going through a little rebel stage. I was finely free of a jackass guy and having fun for once in my life. My daily scheduled consisted of going to work as a server then coming home, getting ready and going out. Normal teenage life pretty much. I was fixing friendships I had lost and just having fun. I started talking to a guy I've known and we started dating. A few months down the road, he would talk about his friend coming home from basic and how there would be bunch of parties. So of course I was down, partying was kind of the thing to do to have fun. Halloween 2008 I will never forget. I remember working a double and getting off of work heading home. I was talking to my brother on the phone, saying I needed to renew my tags and then I got pulled over for them :(. A bit ironic if I do say so myself haha. Fast forward to a few hours later, I walked into the party and saw Alex dressed in his ACU'S and thought, "Wow he's hot". A few rounds of beer pong, and a few shots later I couldn't help but flirt with him all night. Yea I know what you're thinking, what about the other guy? It was honestly a fall in love at first sight kinda thing. I couldn't care less if no one believes in it, but I do - it happened to me. Anytime there was a chance I could hang out with him, I would be there. I would have the guys come over to my apartment just to hang out and play beer pong almost everynight. I would make any excuse just to try to spend time with Alex. Finally one night we were alone and he ended up calling me out saying he knows I like him and I tried to play it off, but it was waaay too obvious. But he did tell me how he felt and ever since then, we really have been inseparable. The day he left for Fort Riley, Ks was horrible. I broke it off with the other guy because I knew I didn't care for him anymore and it wasn't working out. Alex and I wanted to be together and I would do whatever it took to make it happen. The night before he left we were together and I remember laying there saying, "let's get married, I'll run away with you to Kansas." It started as a joke and ended up being a serious consideration that turned into reality. His dad took it well, my mom told me to take a nap to make sure I was sure and his mom wasn't too happy. Obviously you all know how it went because two weeks ago was our second wedding anniversary :D. We had plenty of people put their two cents in and we just shrugged them off. It won't work, you guys wont last, blah blah blah. Guess what? Three moves, one deployment and two years later, we are still standing strong, happily in love.


*I don't want to write just one long post so I will leave it like that until I have time to add more. keep whoever wants to read this in suspense ;)

Starting Off

Where oh where do I start?? Just so you all know I'm not going to just write a blog about how beautiful the sky is today or how cold it is. I'm going to try really hard to make them somewhat meaningful or more likely interesting. I would like this blog to be able to show me growing as a young lady into a woman so to speak. I want it to show some obstacles in my life, as well as the moves I have had to endure. I've also come into new hobbies such as baking and cooking. I will post recipes that I have found, that I have known about, and ones that have been given to me (credit will be given to such people). The blog will just be about my life, how crazy these two years have been since I have been married to an amazing man :). As well as the changes and completely different life I would of never had of guessed for me in a million years. It is crazy how you think you know how you want your life then you are shown a different way and couldn't be any happier with that decision. So this is my story of my life and how it is just getting started with many, many more wonderful adventures to arise.

<3